Can you feel the love tonight? The Only Way is Essex, Season 3, Episodes 2 & 3. October 4, 2011

Looking Reem, Smelling Reem, Feeling Reem, Reem! Image courtesy of http://www.digitalspy.co.uk

Only Joey Essex would think that the whole point of a car boot sale is to sell old boots! Typical! However joining Lydia and Debbie Bright Joey decided to shed some material weight at a local car boot sale but according to Debbie his selling skills were as “useless as a pork chop!” Trying to flog off his infamous orange Ugg Boots and squeezing his bits into a pair of very tight jeans, Joey opened up to Lydia claiming he still has feelings for ex-girlfriend Sam Faiers (pictured below left). But judging by his current fashion sense he won’t be getting very far with Sam any time soon. The 21-year-old decided to don another wacky outfit for Lauren Pope’s birthday outing and now believes he’s old enough to finally fly the nest and move out of mum and dads. But as older sister Frankie pointed during episode 3, he may need to think about the small matter of bills first. Bless him, he’s still so naive!

Never one to go unnoticed Joey Essex can certainly stand out from the crowd. Image courtesy of http://www.dailymail.co.uk

Harry Derbidge and brother Ronnie were also car-booting during episode 2, doing a ‘Del-boy and Rodney’ flogging some of their dads greenery. Harry and Ronnie made a rather unusual team selling pounds of pansies and “vajazzle bushes” but the pair still managed to make their dad a bit of cash by the end of the day. Harry, another TOWIE singleton, is looking for love this season and told Ronnie that his ideal man would be a hunk who was the total opposite to himself. Ronnie replied that when Harry turns 18 he’ll take him to his first ever gay club, after all what are older brothers for?.

Mark Wright, still living a life of celibacy, decided to get in touch with his inner-chi and attend a yoga class. Much to his dismay and delight Mark realised that a relaxing session of breathing exercises and downward facing dog might do wonders for the body and soul but not much for his empty sex life. Surrounded by attractive young women in tight, revealing workout-gear Mark’s face was a picture as he experienced his first pangs of sexual temptation. They do say it’s all in the mind…

He just can't look away! Image courtesy of http://www.scoop.it.com

Speaking of attractive young women, Lucy Mecklenburgh has flashed her amazing body a couple of times this series but working out with her new beau hunky Mario in the park the couple were spotted by Arg, Gemma and Dino who were also exercising. Arg pointed out how thin Lucy was compared to him and Gemma and told Mark later in the day that she and Mario made a very good-looking pair. These two are definitely aspiring to be the hot new couple in TOWIE, with Mario beating Mark hands down as the new himbo, but it look as though the two have already encountered their share of problems as they were approached by Nicola Goodger in episode 2 while having coffee. Nicola confronted Lucy about her ‘antics’ in Marbella and asked if her intention was to split up Mark and Lauren. Of course Lucy denied having anything to do with their break-up and even though Nicola thanked her for making Lauren “see the light” she did suggest that Lucy owed Lauren an apology. Lucy replied that she’s glad Lauren is happy now but she will never apologise to her; Mario comforted her afterwards saying surely Lauren should be thanking her as it looks as though she has done her a favour. But will Lucy crack and give Lauren an apology? The drama continues!

Hot, sexy and glam these two seem to have it all, but will it last? Image courtesy of http://www.dailymail.co.uk

While enjoying a romantic meal at posh restaurant Alec’s, the future ‘Carrie Bradshaw and Mr Big’ Lydia and Arg were rudely interrupted by Mark who decided to join them for dessert. Feeling lonely and depressed yet again, Mark decided to turn to the only love in his life right now, best mate Arg. However the lonely Lothario was turned out into the cold by Lydia after a fiery discussion about Lauren Goodger and her whereabouts. It’s fair to say that so far Mark has without a doubt adopted the role of third wheel in this series.

The highlight of the second episode was not the reunion of Lauren Pope and Bozo the bulldog but Gemma’s ‘Love, Lock & Keys Singles Night’ which was held at Sugar Hut. The girls were given locks and the guys were given keys and with the help of Gemma and Cupid aka Harry, the singles were paired up depending on which guy had the right key to the girl’s lock. An unlikey pairing were Kirk Norcross and Jess Wright who seemed embarrassed by the match and laughed it off; but another unlikely match consisting of Mick Norcross and Maria Fowler resulted in less embarrassment and more flirtation. Kirk was unimpressed when Mick decided he wanted to extend their encounter by taking Maria out for a drink. Could this unlikely match really work?

Harry played Cupid at the Love, Lock and Key Singles Night. Image courtesy of web.orange.co.uk

In episode 3 the gang went paintballing for Lauren Pope’s 28th birthday and divided into two teams the pinks and the oranges, or as Mick called them ‘Silicone Valley vs The Naturals’. After firing balls at each other all day Mick finally plucked up the courage to ask Maria out for a drink. Much to Kirk’s reluctance of the new romance Maria accepted Mick’s offer and decided to bury the hatchet with Kirk in order to put their turbulent past behind them. But will dating Mr Norcross make everything better or worse for Kirk and Maria and everyone involved? We wait with bated breath!

A blossoming romance? Image courtesy of http://www.dailymail.co.uk

After discussing it with Lydia, Arg decided to become a radio DJ. He began his first day in hospital radio happy and confident but was told he’s less Chris Moyles and more Christopher Robin (even though he wasn’t aware of who this person was!) The only concern that Lydia and mum Debbie have is that he’s sitting down all day and may need a treadmill under his desk. Poor Arg!

During a run-in at the gym Mario and Mark had a discussion about Lucy considering her and Mark’s past relationship. Mario wanted Mark to respect the fact that he’s with Lucy now and to be honest with him about any rumours that may be spreading around town. The pair seemed to part in agreement but does Mark have another agenda? While trying on some racy underwear for Jess Wright’s lingerie fashion show, Mark accidentally walked in on Lucy in Jess’s flat wearing nothing but  a black bra, knickers and stockings. An embarrassed Lucy grabbed a cushion to hide her half-naked body while Mark quickly made an escape before saying “you are looking smoking by the way!” What will Mario think? Will the spark between Mark and Lucy be relit? Only time will tell!

Lucy looking fab in a Forever Unique dress. Image courtesy of http://www.designer-clothes.me.uk

                                                                                  

An indecent encounter, Mark’s face was a picture when he walked in on Lucy. Image courtesy of foreign.peacefmonline.com

For more TOWIE tune into ITV2 on Wednesday at 10pm for episode 4!

A New Kind of Reem! The Only Way is Essex, Season 3, Episode 1 October 2, 2011

Looking Reem, Smelling Reem, Feeling Reem, Reem! Image courtesy of http://www.digitalspy.co.uk

It’s back! A brand new series of The Only Way Is Essex has returned onto our screens and the cast are bringing a whole new meaning to the word ‘reem’. With a brand new bunch of characters, new looks and new relationships this season is going to be a corker!

The first episode kicked off with the return of Arg and Lydia; the couple have decided to give their relationship another shot and with a much less chubby Arg (he’s lost a stone so far!) and a bigger bank balance, Lydia Bright is set to open a cake/trinket shop with the help of her mum Debbie who was on hand with the rubber gloves and bleach while Lydia danced around the empty room beaming with happiness and excitement telling James that he’s got to help her with the cleaning of  the windows.

The future Carrie Bradshaw and Mr Big? Image courtesy of entertainment.stv.tv

While Arg and Lydia rekindle their relationship other TOWIE couples seem to have gone thier seperate ways. Kirk Norcross and Lauren Pope have called it a day, with Kirk recieveing custody of their british bulldog Bozo. Kirk seems to be handling it well, purchasing a £74,000 fancy automobile to help attract the ladies while Lauren on the other hand seems to be missing Bozo more than her ex-boyfriend and longs to see him.

Split up from Sam Faiers the king of ‘reem’ Joey Essex dazzled us with yet another fashion faux pas when he decided to take vintage clothing to the next level. Cutting up and sandpapering an already vintage pair of denim shorts that he found at a “vintage shop”, Joey teamed them with bright red sneakers and a patterend jacket with the collar tucked in for that ‘reem’ effect. Chloe Simms and newbie, sister Frankie Essex, looked on in horror as he rocked his new look claiming he looked like a “raving nutcase”. Even though the young promoter seems to have grown up a lot and now “thinks he’s the man”, will no doubt be donning some more spectacualry bad fashion sense later in the series. Can’t wait!

Essex's very own Ken Doll looking reem. Image courtesy of http://www.sugarscape.com

The on-going saga that is Mark Wright and Lauren Goodger has now apparently come to an end. Feeling depressed and lonely Mark confessed to Arg that he was dissapointed in his friend’s lack of support throughout his break-up; the self-confessed ladies man has also taken a vow of celibacy for 40 days and 40 nights! Let’s see how long he can keep that one up! Lauren Goodger has taken the opposite approach to the split with a new and approved positive attitude. The pair reunited for one last heart to heart at the end of the show; Mark parted with his ex telling her she will always be the most beautiful girl in the world to him and that he will always love her; Lauren looking as cool as a cucumber replied by saying she wants him to be happy and that she gave it her all.

Known for being ‘big and beautiful’ Gemma Collins has shed the weight and is rocking a new body and hair-do. She’s still looking for love but this time it’s not Mick Norcross she’s after but some ‘young fitties’ to keep up with her new energy. Let’s see who will catch her eye this series! Look out boys!

Is it Cheryl? Is it J.Lo? No it's Gemma! Image courtesy of http://www.dailymail.co.uk

Speaking of ‘young fitties’ there’s fresh meat in TOWIE this season in the shape of hunky but tiny twins Dino and Georgio and Lucy Mecklenburgh’s smoking hot boyfriend Mario. With all the single ladies this season there seems to be plenty of eye-candy to choose from. But who will pair up? Only the next episode will tell!

The hottest new couple in TOWIE! Image courtesy of http://www.dailymail.co.ukWho needs a mirror, right boys? Image courtesy of http://www.metro.co.uk

“Eeek! Something just pulled my hair extensions!” Ghost Hunting With The Only Way Is Essex. September 15, 2011

The cast of TOWIE get well and truly spooked!

Tonight the glamorous cast of TOWIE along with ghostly investigator Yvette Fielding visited the terrifying Coalhouse Fort. Situated in East Tilbury, Essex, the eerie Victorian Coastal Defence Fort was built in 1874, holds over 600 years worth of military history and is a far cry from TOWIE’s everyday haunts such as Minnie’s boutique and the Sugar Hut Village Nightclub. The hysteria began to build between the group which consisted of Mark Wright; James “Arg” Argent; Sam Faiers; Amy Childs; Harry Derbidge and “the reemest of them all” Joey Essex when Yvette led them through the terrifying tunnels of the Coalhouse Fort.

The Coalhouse Fort is known for it's ghostly activity especially throughout the winding tunnels. Image courtesy of http://www.redbubble.com

With the lights still on at this point, Arg was selected by Yvette to investigate some “strange noises” and until that moment portrayed himself as the dominant alpha-male. Peering nervously around the full-lit corners, Arg really tried not to look scared as he ventured off without the rest of the group. Before Yvette had led the Scoobies onto their first location of the night Amy and Sam began to get the jitters as Amy screamed out; “Oh my god! Something just pulled my hair extensions!” Luckily they were still intact by the end of the night.

Miss Childs always has flowing locks. Image courtesy of http://www.dailymail.co.uk

As the group entered their first spooky location of the night, the Fort’s War Museum, Yvette pointed out that spirits of dead WW1 and 2 soldiers often haunt the museum as they become reconnected with the historic artifacts. The crew then began to wonder whether there were German soldiers also haunting the Museum. With ghostly grenades being flung at them, Yvette decided to lead them (blindfolded no less) to their next destination of the night.

Blindfolded and unaware of where they were being led, the Essex divas found themselves in the Seance Room. Sitting around a round table and trying to make contact with the ghostly entities, Yvette decided to up the ante and split up the group. She sent Mark and Amy out first to find their way out of the tunnels with nothing but a torch to guide them. As the pair nervously crept their way around the labyrinth Amy became hysterical when she claimed that something was repeatedly touching the back of her leg. Mark then became unnerved when he claimed something had touched his bum. Typical!

The gang try to encourage some ghostly activity. Image courtesy of http://www.thesun.co.uk

The last destination of the night saw the terrified team being led into the most active area of the Coalhouse Fort, The Washrooms. A very angry and nasty tempered ghost nicknamed “Harry” by the Fort’s staff, dwells in the washroom and hates the presence of anyone who may come calling. According to Yvette, Arg had been the cockiest of the night and as punishment she strapped him to a chair to see what discoveries he could make alone.  

While Arg was left to his make his own scary encounters the rest of the gang endured lightbulbs bursting, stones being thrown at them and chairs being hurled up and down the passage ways. Yvette, ever the antagonist, tried to encourage more ghostly activity by taunting the angry ghoul. With the pestered poltergeist on full form Amy and Harry then decide they’ve had enough and leave to join psychologist Professor Geoffrey Beattie for a update on the nights frightening encounters. Huddled together the remaining lot then endured the worst case of contact the group had received and with that Yvette decided to get the group the safety after Joey was struck in the face. His profile did however remain intact.

The Scoobies huddled together as they felt the wrath of a pretty ticked off ghoulie. Image courtesy of http://www.thesun.co.uk

The TOWIE night of ghost hunting was a success with the cast stating they enjoyed the experience very much; Sam even wanted to go back in for more! The cynical Mark and Arg left the Coalhouse Fort with brand new perspectives, definitely believing in things that go bump in the night; not including Mark Wright’s head-board that is!

Tune into ITV2 tomorrow night to watch Sam Faiers join the panel for Celebrity Juice at 10pm. Bang tidy!

Sexy Sam is set to join the Celebrity Juice panel tomorrow night. Image courtesy of http://www.musicmushrooms.net

Romantic gestures in Essex? More obscene than reem! The Only Way is Essex 2 episodes 6 & 7 April 11, 2011

The crew are back for a second series! Image courtesy of unrealitytv.co.uk

In last Wednesdays episode the Essex crew came together to celebrate Harry’s 17th birthday. The crew donned fancy dress costumes such as Fred Flintstone (Arg), Danny and Sandy from Grease (Mark and Lauren G), Elle Woods from Legally Blonde (Lydia), Ursula Andress (Sam) and The Queen (Nanny Pat), not forgetting the fabulous birthday boy who showed up as Lady Gaga and performed a dance routine to her song Telephone.

Harry as Lady Gaga. Image courtesy of http://www.heatworld.com

However the theme of the evening did not coincide with the atmosphere as certain members of the crew found it difficult to disguise their feelings. After the bust up between Kirk and Lauren Pope in episode 5, the pair reconciled their differences last Wednesday and decided to give thier relationship another go. When ‘extra’ Maria Fowler found out about the make up between Kirk and Lauren she had no problem displaying her disapproval, ending up in yet another showdown with Kirk in Harry’s party. After a heated discussion, Kirk reduced Maria to tears and the pair haven’t spoken since; these two are definitely the new Lauren Conrad and Spencer Pratt of Essex!

After their argument in episode 5 Lydia gave Arg an ultimatum; either he changed his ways or he’d lose her for good. The two had a rather tearful showdown in Harry’s party last Wednesday with Arg left standing alone for the time being. In spite of the tears and tantrums romance still managed to shine through as Joey Essex gave Lucy the cold shoulder and made his move on Sam. At the end of the night the two ended up sharing a steamy snog in  the heated pool while a rather jealous looking Mark peered on from the sidelines. Looks like Sam’s still tugging on his heartstrings after all!

The steamy pair out on the town. Image courtesy of http://www.thesun.co.uk

Last night’s episode was all about the romantic gestures. However, the romantic gestures in Essex seem to be more on the obscene side than the reem side! Lauren Goodger definitely showed her bonkers side with her surprise gift for Mark; a 70 inch portrait of herself to go on his bedroom wall! Mark was less than happy when he realised the massive frame was not in fact a new flat screen TV and dubbed the present as utterly obscene. Lauren seemed to think otherwise…

Arg also tried to surprise Lydia by showing up at her house with a bouquet of roses, but was shooed away by the Wicked Witch of Essex Debbie as she slammed the door in his face. Arg persisted and sat on the doorstep waiting for Lydia, but she wasn’t impressed with the heartfelt gesture and claimed she needed time away from him. It didn’t look like Arg was giving up easily though and insisted that Lydia give him another chance to prove himself. Could this be the end of Larg for good? Only the next episode will tell…

Last night’s episode showed Joey Essex in his prime, buying shoes two sizes too small for him so they wouldn’t crease! Jess Wright took the plunge and had a boob job, Maria and Chloe discussed the wonders of Botox and having expressionless faces; Amy, Sam and Harry’s (The Hairy Growlers) have awful pub quiz skills and Nanny Pat spoke her words of wisdom yet again. Looks like the next episode is just going to be as “rarmus, reemus, reem and rarm!”

Chloe and her expressionless face. Image courtesy of http://www.web.orange.co.uk

Don’t forget, Minnies Boutique is opening 23rd April 2011 at 10am, in a chance to win a £100 voucher visit the website and pre-register today! Lauren Goodger has also launched a range of tanning products, to buy them visit her Facebook page.

110% Jel in Essex. The Only Way is Essex 2 episode 5 April 4, 2011

Last night’s episode kicked off with a bang (or a pair of bangers to be exact), as we saw Sam Faiers and sister Billie helping Amy Childs pick out some glam new clothes for Marbella. Choosing from the range at Minnies Boutique, which according to Sam’s Twitter updates and Minnies Boutique website is set to officially open to the public on Saturday 23 April at 10am, Amy tried on a very glam multi-coloured maxi dress and a teeny-weeny bikini with animal print wedges. Funnily enough she thought she’s go for a larger sized top as she didn’t want her “nips” to pop out! I’d say that’s a wise choice Amy!

Jimmy Choo Animal Print Wedges! Oo-la-la! Courtesy of http://www.polyvore.com

Sam and Billie are definitely raising the fashion standards this season with their impeccable glam dress sense and new business ventures. For more tips on Sam’s look you can visit her fashion blog at http://yogoego.blogspot.com/ where this week she discusses her love for prints. Keep blogging Sam, we love you!

Essex fashionista in the making, Sam Faiers. Courtesy of http://www.yogoego.com

 

We also saw Amy, Paloma and Lauren “Popey” Pope’s housemate Maria Fowler (the extra) discussing the fake tan injection. The fake tan injection has been around for a while and involves putting a synthetic hormone under the skin known as melanotan. Many prefer this method of tanning as they claim it’s less messy than fake tan. But according to Maria it not only gives you an orange glow, but makes you like a dog on heat! I think I’d rather stick to the messy method, plus it’s suppose to be really dangerous to your health! Lets hope it doesn’t catch on with the TOWIE crew!

In this episode we definitely saw the definition of jel! Lydia let rip at Arg about his bromance with Mark after he came to give her with the “good” news that he’s found a house for them to move into. However, Lydia wasn’t as enthusiastic about the idea as she claimed he doesn’t ever spend time with her. Arg calmly responeded by saying she was being “silly” and that he loved her but maybe they need a few days apart to clear their heads. I hope they sort things out, they really are a cute couple!

The pair often have squabbles, but lets hope they can rekindle their romance soon. Image courtesy of thesun.co.uk

After the dramatic breakup between Kirk Norcross and Lauren Pope, the drama continued this episode after Kirk who was dubbed “The Master of Jel” by Amy (who is also his former girlfriend) asked Lucy Mecklenburgh on a date. Joey Essex witnessed the hook up between the two and he got a bit jel; but claimed to cousin Chloe Simms he was only looking out for Lucy’s best interests as Kirk was after a one night fling with her.

When Kirk and Lucy turned up for their date they were unexpectedly greeted by Lauren and Maria, who were also there for a night out. As expected all hell broke loose! Kirk’s face was a picture of guilt as he instructed Lucy to go and sit down, then made a beeline for Lauren saying he wanted to talk to her privately. Both Lauren and Maria were appalled by Kirk’s behaviour and were shocked that Lucy had the “bottle” to go out with him even though (according to Maria) she didn’t look hot! After being openly insulted by the two plastic fantastics Lucy finally left after being called a slag by Maria. Lucy responded to the accusations on Twitter saying, “And for all the haters how am I a slag wen iv had 1 bf that I was wit for 4 years!! N then started seeing Mark n been on 1 date after him! Wtf!”.

"Lucy's not even hot!"; we beg to differ! Image courtesy of divagossip.net

Kirk finally got his chance to speak with Lauren alone. Tearfully Kirk poured his heart out to Lauren telling her he’d really missed her and that he was sorry; but she wasn’t about to back down easily. Choking back the tears Popey voiced her confusion and shock at Kirk’s willingness to date someone so quickly, especially someone she knew. She eventually asked Kirk if he fancied Lucy and if they’d kissed; Kirk responded by claiming he’s never cheated on Lauren but he did find Lucy “good-looking”, that set Popey off on a jel rant and she stormed out. However a picture of the pair shown on www.mrpaparazzi.com which was taken on the way to Harry Denbridge’s party last night might mean they are on back on track! Only the next episode will tell…

The living legend that is Nanny Pat! Image courtesy of http://www.virginmedia.com

It seems that Mark Wright and Lauren Goodger might not be going all Wills and Kate on us for their wedding after all! After Nanny Pat revealed her wedding pics to Mark last night and told him she’d done it on a budget of £50, the former womanizer seemed impressed by the simplicity of his nan’s wedding. Maybe Lauren and Mark should take a few tips from these thrifty chaps (see below).

Keep an eye out for the next post, episode 6 on Wednesday! Also keep up with the latest gossip on www.itv2.com/theonlywayisessex.